Confused

I'm so confused!!! :'( My dad screwed up! And that ruined my life... Everytime he hurt me, it took away a piece of my soul, a piece of me, a piece of my heart... and I'll never get those pieces back. But I'm confused!! He love me, but in the wrong way, yet he hated me! Which was it? Was it both?? It that possible?? all I wanted was for him to love me, like a father is supposed love his daughter! all I wanted was to be happy, to not worry, to just be me! But no... that wasn't possible.... I'm confused!! I'm confused about soo many things!!! :'( but one thing I know it: that all those pieces of my soul, me, my heart that where taken away from me, and I can't get them back... but I can get new pieces and put them there, or I can just start over, bring some of the old pieces and get all new pieces...