My story Part 1:

     (I am 14 years old. I am Female.) All I want is to feel 'Normal'... But I don't even know what Normal is... All I want is to forget. I want to forget what My daddy did to me, But I want to remember... My daddy Raped Me. My daddy Molested me. My daddy Beat me. My Daddy Neglected me. and Here is my Story:


     When I was six months old, my Mom divorced my dad. I Lived with my mom. But about every four to six weeks, I had to have Visits with him, for about four weeks at a time.He locked me in my room. He only fed me once to twice a day, every day-two days. He Fed me a Tiny bowl of cereal, with water in it, because he wasn't going to waste money on milk. If I did something he didn't like, silly little things like if I stood still for too long, or if I ate too slow, or wasn't walking fast enough, or I was walking too fast, If I cried, If I begged him to stop ect. He would beat me. He was constantly telling me how stupid,fat,ugly,worthless I was. He constantly called ma a Bit*h and a C*nt, he even called me his little Wh**e sometimes... He was constantly Cussing. and If I talked, anytime other than he asked me a question, he would cuss at me, call me names, tell me to shut the Fu*k up, or Shut the he*l up. and He would yet again beat me... He would beat me if I answered wrong... he Only let me shower the first day I was there. Unless I got bloody. and he would use no tears shampoo, so that I wouldn't cry... He would get me in the shower, and then he would get in too. and he would wash all the germs from my mommy off. he had to do it though, because I couldn't do it right, and he would pay special attention to my private parts. then He would make me wash him, and I had to pay special attention to his private parts... he would then tell me to suck on his thing. I did what I was told... It was gross. I felt like I was gonna Puke. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was choking. and then, we would get out of the shower. and he would dry me off, again paying special attention to my private areas, and He made my dry off his private areas, and he did the rest of his body. Then he would lay a towel down, and he would make me lay on it, he would lay on me. I felt like I couldn't breathe. and he would shove his thing where it didn't belong. Sometimes I would beg him to stop, and he would get REALLY mad. I was TERRIFIED of him, and that look in his eye. he would then tell, me that I DID like it! and he would make me say it. and then he would, get his belt, and he would spank my bare bottom. He would do that until it was beat RED. and then he would make me lay back down, and he would Shove his thing where it didn't belong... It Hurt Soooo Much! but I wasn't allowed to cry. and then I remember there being a little blood sometimes. He would just, use a baby wipe, and wipe me clean. and then he would lock me in my room. Throughout my visit, I never knew when it was coming... He would unlock the door, and he would either beat me, or he would grab me, and take me into his room, and he would undress me, and make me undress him. then he would touch me... and then he would, either make me lay on the floor, or his bed, and he would insert his thing Yet again where it DID't belong... either my front private, or sometimes my bottom. I Begged him to stop, and eventually stopped begging, because he would get sooo mad. I eventually just felt numb.and Distant. He Scared me Soo Much, I never knew when it was coming, or exactly what he was going to do.